your parents love me but you hate me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
