the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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