He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
