its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
