i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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