Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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