ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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