I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
