I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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