I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
