Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
