I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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