Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Be still, my beating vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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