4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
These tits shall not be calmed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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