Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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