I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
