So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
