Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
