It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize