how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
