He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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