Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
