kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
