Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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