just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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