Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
