And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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