Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Enjoy the penises
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
