His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize