I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
