ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This baby is an asshole
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
