I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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