You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
