I cockslap morals
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize