come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
