wrigley field is MILF paradise
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
