We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
