that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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