It's like God shit irony all over that family
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
