The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
