He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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