I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
