Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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