they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I look better un-naked...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
