Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
