i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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