good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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