I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
