my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
