I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize