Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fuck appropriateness.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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