I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
