i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize