Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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