I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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