The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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