I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
