Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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