Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize