called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
