They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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