I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
