3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The air was thick with penises
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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