Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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