It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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