What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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